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The Art of Pausing: Mindful Mornings

Writer's picture: fayenenfayenen

Updated: Dec 7, 2024

a mother and two children resting together

Mornings can often feel chaotic for many families, mine included—especially when I’m half-asleep or running on autopilot! Just the other day, I found myself in one of those frantic morning scenarios, nagging my son to get dressed, brush his teeth, and wash his face, all while trying to inhale my breakfast and pack lunch boxes. Sound familiar? The air was filled with my son’s protests, the clatter of lunch boxes, and the unmistakable smell of toast burning in the toaster. It was clear that neither my son nor I was enjoying this hectic routine, and I could sense my husband’s frustration as well. Inside, I felt like I was racing at 90 miles an hour, convinced we were going to be late, and it seemed like NO ONE was doing what needed to be done to get us out the door on time! Ughhh, even writing this makes my heart race!

As we reached the stage of putting on shoes and coats in the hallway, my husband paused to give me a hug. He gently asked if I could take a moment to share that connection with him. My immediate thought was, "No! Who has time to pause? Can’t you see we’re rushing?!" My mind was racing with exclamation marks, and I almost replied, "I don’t have time..." But then, alarm bells rang in my head. I realized that, nine times out of ten, unless I’m facing an imminent threat, I do have the time to pause. I can stop and take three deep breaths, even when I think I can’t. So, I took a moment to remember everything I’ve learned and everything I encourage others to embrace. I paused right there in the hallway, shared a simple hug with my husband, and then lay down on the floor amidst bags and shoes, breathing deeply.

To my surprise, just seconds later, my son—who had been vociferously arguing about putting on shoes and brushing his teeth—came and lay down beside me. For less than a minute, we breathed together, connecting with our bodies, the ground beneath us, and the space around us. When we finally got back up (this all took no more than a minute), we calmly put on our shoes, gathered our things, and left the house feeling warm and loving towards one another. The car ride to school transformed into a joyful journey filled with singing and friendly conversation instead of simmering anger and heavy silence.

Ahhhhh, the Pause!

What a powerful principle and skill, and I am immensely grateful for it. I owe thanks to Ray Castellino, Tara Blasco, and Mary Jackson for teaching me this invaluable practice. It has made a significant difference in my personal life and family dynamics—my son and husband would happily corroborate that! I’ve also heard many stories from clients about the positive impact it has had on their lives.

The Pause is one of eight principles developed by Ray Castellino, DC, RPP, RCST, known for his pioneering work with families, adults, children, babies, and small groups. Ray emphasizes that these principles are fundamental to fostering healthy family dynamics and small group interactions, promoting cooperation, connection, and healthy nervous system regulation.

The Eight Principles of Somatic Health:

  1. Welcome

  2. Mutual Support & Cooperation

  3. Choice

  4. Self and Co-Regulation - the Pause

  5. Self Care

  6. Brief Frequent Eye Contact

  7. Touch/Attention

  8. Sacred Confidence - Confidentiality

If you’d like to learn more about these principles and how they can support you in fostering greater health within your family systems, I encourage you to reach out! I invite you to take a moment each day to pause, breathe, and connect with your loved ones. You might be surprised at the warmth and understanding that can blossom from just a minute of shared presence.

Join the Conversation!

I’d love to hear your thoughts! How do you navigate chaotic mornings in your family? Have you tried the Pause technique, and what impact has it had on your daily life? Please share your experiences in the comments below, and feel free to share this post with others who might benefit from these insights. Together, we can create a community of support and connection!

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