Nervous System Regulation

fayenen
Oct 15
5 min read

Practices for Balance, Resilience, and Healing Trauma

Balance...

Regulation...

What do these words really mean?

How do we live from a place of steadiness while the world keeps spinning, while life continues to rise and fall, expand and contract, glow and dim?

These questions have been alive in me lately, personally and in my work with others. Perhaps it’s something about the shift into the darker seasons, when life calls us inward. Or perhaps it’s that so many of us, amidst the speed and stimulation of modern living, are craving a return to rhythm - to that quiet knowing within the body that says, “I am safe. I can rest. I can rise again.”

Let’s explore together what regulation really means... not as an abstract concept, but as something we can live, breathe, and embody.

The Language of the Body: Understanding your Nervous System

At its heart, regulation is the art of attunement.

Our nervous system is constantly reading the world around and within us - asking, “Am I safe? Am I connected? Do I belong?”

When we experience too much stimulation, stress, or unresolved emotion, the system moves toward activation... heart rate increases, breath quickens, thoughts race. When we’ve had too much of that, it may swing to the other pole - shutdown, withdrawal, exhaustion.

Neither is wrong. They are both intelligent survival responses.

The work of regulation is learning how to move between these states with grace - to find our way back to centre when we drift too far toward either edge.

Dr. Daniel Siegel, a leading voice in interpersonal neurobiology, describes this as staying within our “window of tolerance”, my teacher Ray Castellino preferred to refer to it as our "window of presence". It speaks to that optimal zone where we can engage, connect, and think clearly. When we fall outside it, we become reactive rather than responsive, surviving rather than living.

But here’s the beauty: through mindful awareness and consistent practice - such as meditation, breathing exercises, or somatic therapies - that window can widen.

The body can relearn safety.

The Neurobiology of Balance

From a neuroscience perspective, calming the nervous system is not about forcing stillness but creating the right conditions for the vagus nerve - our primary rest-and-digest pathway - to signal safety.

Rhythmic movement, slow breathing, gentle touch, and sound all stimulate vagal tone, helping to lower stress hormones and shift us into balance.

Practices like box breathing (inhale 4 / hold 4 / exhale 4 / hold 4) have been shown to regulate heart rate variability - the body's ability to quickly adapt to stress and the key marker of emotional resilience.

When paired with finger pressure, such as with the Kundalini mantra “Sa Ta Na Ma” (representing birth, life, death, rebirth), the tactile stimulation further enhances sensory integration, offering both grounding and focus.

This is science meeting spirit, touch meeting breath, the mind and body syncing into coherence.

The Spiritual Mirrors of Regulation

Many spiritual traditions have long understood what modern neuroscience now confirms: we are rhythmic beings.

Indigenous wisdom teaches us to live in right relation with the cycles of nature... the turning of day and night, the waxing and waning of the moon.

Buddhist teachings invite us to rest in the middle way... the gentle balance between grasping and aversion.

And in the Vedic tradition, the concept of the gunas - sattva (clarity), rajas (activity), and tamas (inertia) - describes the ever-shifting qualities of energy that shape both our inner and outer worlds.

When rajas dominates, we feel restless and over-stimulated.

When tamas takes over, we feel heavy or withdrawn.

But when sattva prevails - when light and harmony rise within us - we experience that quiet, radiant balance that feels like home.

This isn’t about perfection, but relationship... learning to sense which quality is present and consciously inviting what restores equilibrium.

The Bhagavad Gita speaks of the inner journey of returning to the Self - a remembrance of our true nature beyond fluctuation. Regulation, too, is this continual returning to wholeness.

The Cycles of Regulation: Evening and Morning

Our nervous system doesn’t reset in isolation: it moves in daily rhythms, responding to light, temperature, and the internal tides of hormones and neurotransmitters.

The evening and morning are two pivotal transitions.

What we do in the hour before sleep prepares the soil for rest, and what we do upon waking plants the seeds for the day.

Each cycle of activation and relaxation builds upon the other.

Think of it as a dance: evening practices invite deactivation, releasing the day’s charge, while morning practices gently activate, preparing us to meet life’s flow with steadiness.

An Evening De-activation Ritual: Soothing the Body into Restful Sleep

This is less a prescription and more a framework; a way of meeting yourself through touch, breath, and gentle awareness.

Soften and Stretch

Begin with 10–15 minutes of gentle yoga to release physical tension and signal to your body that it’s time to unwind.
Breathe and Touch

Sit comfortably and bring thumb to each fingertip, one by one, repeating Sa Ta Na Ma. (Thumb to pointer for Sa, middle finger for Ta, ring finger for Na, and pinky finger for Ma)

Breathe in for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4.

The rhythm of breath, sound, and touch creates coherence in the brain and calms the body.
Mind Closure and Gratitude

Reflect gently: “What did my body do well today?”

Name three sensory gratitudes - a smell, a touch, a sight that brought you pleasure.

Gratitude, when felt in the body, shifts the nervous system toward safety and connection.
Yoga Nidra - The Descent into Sleep

Lie down for a short Yoga Nidra practice - the art of conscious rest.

The Yoga Nidra Network offers beautiful free recordings that guide the mind into sleep while keeping awareness softly awake.

A Morning Somatic Rhythm: Awakening with Steadiness and Intention

Just as night invites us inward, morning invites us outward again.

For those whose energy is high or scattered, it can help to begin with movement before stillness - meeting activation before asking the system to settle.

Awaken the Body

Begin with a few minutes of rhythmic movement... shaking, dancing, or bouncing lightly on your feet. Let sound or music guide you.

Then, if you wish, follow with a few rounds of sun salutations or a short morning yoga sequence.
Co-regulate and Connect

If you share your mornings with a partner or family, simple touch or a brief shared squeeze can be grounding. Our nervous systems co-regulate through connection.

Sensory Centring with Mantra Meditation

Engage in a practice that uses rhythmic repetition, either through vocal chanting, silent recitation, or using prayer beads (mala/japa/rosary). The focus on sound, touch, and breath helps orient your awareness to presence.
If you prefer to use the Kirtan Kriya, simply return to Sa Ta Na Ma with gentle finger taps and box breathing.

Intention Setting

Close with a question: “How do I wish to meet the day?”

Keep it simple. Let your words be an anchor rather than a goal.

Returning to the River

Regulation isn’t a fixed state - it’s a flowing river.

Some days it runs clear, some days it’s muddy, but always it moves.

What matters is our willingness to stay in relationship with it... to listen to the body’s language and offer what it needs rather than what we think it should need.

This is where science and spirit meet:

In the breath.

In the pulse beneath the skin.

In the small moments when we remember we are nature, too.

An Invitation

If something in this reflection stirs a resonance, a curiosity, a memory, a question, I’d love to hear from you.

You’re welcome to share what this evokes for you, what balance feels like in your own life, or what practices you’ve found supportive along the way.

Let’s keep exploring together what it truly means to live from a regulated, connected, and whole place... one breath, one rhythm, one relationship at a time.

With warmth,

Fayenen